Respectfully Disagreeing with Clients and Influencing Their Beliefs Effectively

Respectfully Disagreeing with Clients and Influencing Their Beliefs Effectively

Today, we’re diving into a super important communication skill for vets — how to respectfully disagree with clients, especially when they come in with strong beliefs like raw feeding or other controversial topics.

We all know how tricky these conversations can be. If you don’t approach disagreements the right way, you risk pushing people further away, losing their respect, or making them dig their heels in even more. Worst of all, you might come across as incompetent or cause unnecessary conflict.

So how do you navigate this minefield and still be influential? That’s what we’re unpacking today.

1. Set the Right Mindset: Don’t Go In to "Change Their Mind"

First up — don’t enter these conversations with the goal to change someone’s mind. If you do, you’ll be so focused on proving you’re right that you’ll miss out on actually listening or learning anything new.

You might also increase your own anxiety and pressure to “win,” which makes your communication less effective.

Instead, approach the discussion with genuine curiosity. Your goal should be to understand where the other person is coming from.

Ask yourself:

Why would a reasonable person believe this?

What information might they have that I don’t?

This mindset reduces pressure and opens up a much more respectful, productive dialogue.

2. Build Rapport and Establish Safety

Before you dive into the disagreement, build rapport.

Research consistently shows that both people need to feel safe and respected to have meaningful conversations, especially when you disagree.

Let your client know, “Even though we might disagree on this, I respect you, and I want to understand your perspective better.”

If you haven’t already, check out my podcast episode all about building rapport — it’s foundational for conversations like these.

3. View the Client’s Beliefs Through a Positive Lens

How you view the other person’s beliefs matters a lot.

If you go in thinking, “They’re an idiot for believing that,” it’ll be really hard to stay calm and respectful.

Instead, try this: Think about their beliefs as coming from a place of love and care for their pet. For example, someone who feeds raw probably genuinely wants the best for their animal and has found information that convinced them this is the way to go.

This empathetic stance helps you keep calm and communicate more effectively.

4. Let Them Fully Explain Themselves — Listen Actively

One of the most important things you can do is let your client fully explain their view — without interrupting. Studies show doctors interrupt patients after just 11-14 seconds, which isn’t nearly enough time for people to articulate complex ideas and feel heard.

Use these active listening techniques:

• Ask follow-up questions: “What has led you to want to feed a raw diet?”

• Mirror: Repeat key words with an upward tone to encourage them to say more. For example: “Not in any pain?”

• Paraphrase: “I want to double check I understand, you feel that because he isn’t yelping, you believe he’s not in pain?” — and check for confirmation.

These show you’re genuinely listening, which builds trust and rapport.

5. Find Common Ground — Agree on Something

Once they’ve shared their view and feel heard, find at least one thing to agree on. This shows humility and helps lower defenses.

Examples:

• “I agree that high-quality food really impacts health.”

• “It’s true he isn’t showing obvious signs of pain.”

• “I appreciate your dedication to reducing fear and restraint.”

• 
  

This step is powerful because it makes the other person more willing to listen to you.

6. Tactical Questioning — Help Them Reflect

Now comes a key strategy: asking the right questions to help them reflect on their own beliefs — without pushing facts or logic that can cause them to dig in.

There’s a technique called street epistemology, which encourages people to think about how they know what they know. The goal is to gently plant a seed of doubt and start a rethinking cycle.

Avoid “why” questions that put them on the defensive. Instead, use “how” and “what” questions that invite them to explain or explore the details.

For example:

• “What does a natural death look like to you?”

• “How do you think raw feeding impacts health?”

• “What would it take for you to feel comfortable with euthanasia?”

• 
  

Also, try a confidence scale: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel about this?” If they say 7 or 8, that opens the door to explore why it’s not a 10 — encouraging openness to new ideas.

7. Remember: Changing Minds Takes Time

You won’t change everyone’s mind on the spot. But if you get them to start thinking critically and questioning their own beliefs, that’s a win. They might go home and slowly reconsider over days, weeks, or months.

And sometimes, maybe they’re right — and we need to stay open to that possibility too.

Or sometimes, it’s okay to just support their harmless beliefs and be on their team, especially if it doesn’t negatively impact the pet.

Summary:

• Go in curious, not combative.

• Build rapport and see their perspective positively.

• Listen fully and let them feel heard.

• Find common ground before moving forward.

• Use tactical questions to plant seeds of doubt and encourage reflection.

• Be patient — changing minds is a process, not an instant win.

To listen to the full episode on Changing Minds and Disagreeing - find The VetEQ Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.